The privilege of carrying life is new to me. For 22 weeks, our little one has been growing and developing, taking daily steps toward the milestone of birth. And for 22 weeks, I have been amazed, discouraged, delighted, and plain worn out by the plethora of changes miraculously taking place in my body to accommodate our little hitchhiker. For every beautiful moment (hello little baby kicks!), there seems to be an accompanying uncomfortable one (hello muscle pains and an extraordinarily small bladder!).
Two years ago, in the difficult months surrounding my early departure from the mission field, I came across a quote from Nancy Levin and immediately wrote it down in my journal:
Honor the space between no longer and not yet.
How poignant that reminder–that not all transitions move immediately from one thing to the next; some involve a time of in-between that can’t be skipped, rushed, or ignored. And my goodness, pregnancy is quite the in-between.
These are the “no longer” days to planning for two, having a budget without baby expenses, and keeping the guest room fully guest-ready rather than baby-ready. No longer to certain beverages, excess caffeine, particular activities, and clothes without extra tummy room. And really, the moments that these changes bother me are few and far between–more often there’s an intense excitement surrounding all the preparations for this tiny human we’ll soon be welcoming.
But not yet–these “not yet” days include plenty of visits to the doctor, frustrations with hospitals and insurance providers, a nursery full of things to be re-arranged and organized, and still many more weeks of waiting before our space between “no longer” and “not yet” runs its course.
So honor the space. Sweet baby Shiloh, your momma is learning to slow down, breathe deeply, not rush. Your most beautiful Creator established these days for our in-between, and so much is happening that we cannot see. Keep growing, keep kicking, keep waiting. This space is full of wonder.